Enough with the bad luck already

Here we are, March 2016 and only 6 months since my last blog post.  6 small, short months and so much is different.

My long term relationship with the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with ended, mainly due to how I have changed since my health problems and losing my job.  As a result I had to start all over again.  I am now back in a rented property and I moved with only a bed, a chair and a room full of craft stuff.  I now have a nice home, but it has taken time and what money I had left from the lump sum I got when I stopped working.

4 weeks after I moved in and his mother was told she had lung cancer and she was given 3 months to live.  2 weeks later she was in a long term hospital, where she died 5 weeks later.  I thought of her as my mother in law and visited her 4-6 times a week while she was in hospital.

During this time I helped pack up her flat and move it to my former home, all the while trying to unpack my house in my spare time.  Alma died in November 2015.  Then came the December birthdays  and Christmas.  My oldest son stayed with me over Christmas and until late January when we had a row about some of his lifestyle choices.

On 21st February 2016 he was found unconscious in a garden not far from where I live.  He died later that day.  His death was treated as suspicious as he was a witness in a murder case.  The worst day of my life was when I had to travel to Edinburgh to identify my son.  The post mortem could not identify the cause of death and further tests were carried out.  As his death was suspicious we were not allowed to touch him, which was absolutely heartbreaking.

Apparently he had been walking from his partner's house to mine and had taken off his coat and hoodie along the way.  He then became disorientated due to the cold, fell and went to sleep.  We will get the final test results some time in May, hopefully.  It is likely that his medication has disorientated him as he walked and as it made him drowsy he simply went to sleep and became too cold to survive.  We buried him on March 8th 2016.  I feel as though my heart has been ripped in two and will never be whole again.

I am so grateful for my crafting friends who, although they live some miles away, have been very supportive in a non intrusive way.  I now have the job of sorting my crafting supplies of paper, yarn and fabric into a system that is easily accessible. I am trying to keep myself busy and force myself to do things, while supporting my sons partner and his children as they begin a new life without him.

I am hoping to be a more regular blogger as I try and build a life on my own, one so far removed from how I thought it would be this time last year.