I have missed blogging, not because of any great need to share what I create, but for me, as a reminder of the minutiae of my life. In fact sharing what I create is what stops me blogging most days, it is that unspoken pressure to have something to share, that keeps me away.
Back in January I started doing a Project Life album for this year. Knowing my track record of never quite finishing things I went ahead and was doing fine until about May/June when things just got too busy and I stopped. I felt it was taking all my scrapping tie and I got bogged down. Since then I have barely scrapped - not layouts, not project life, not anything and it is awful!
In April I banged my shin with a chair in school. It was extremely painful but the skin didn't break. Since then I have had one problem after another with the leg in question, mostly to do with it being considerably larger than the other leg. I have had x-rays and scans and all sorts of tests. I have had injections in my stomach for days on end and blood tests upon blood tests yet no answers to what is actually wrong. I have bought many different pairs of shoes trying to get a pair that would fir both legs at the same time but I have also had to send so many pairs back as they just didn't fit at all.
In September I developed an infection in my leg, cellulitis, which resulted in a 9 day hospital stay, gallons of antibiotics delivered by drip and eventually surgery. For a while I had two legs that almost matched, sadly that didn't last. My leg is still healing but is almost there but it is, yet again, bigger than my other leg. Not hugely, just enough to make wearing shoes a problem. Unless it is raining I don't wear shoes and travel everywhere in my cute slippers. When it is raining I have to decide whether to wear shoes and remove the support bandage or to get wet. Until now.
On Monday I saw a consultant who told me I have lymphoedema in my left leg and that there is no cure. I will need to be fitted for a surgical compression stocking and will have to wear it all day, every day. I left the hospital in a confused state, came home and googled lymphoedema. In some ways I am so glad I did and in others I wish I hadn't. The information and support forums I found are great, the photos are not.
Today I was back at my own health centre to see the nurse who has been looking after me post op and changing my dressings. She wasn't surprised about the diagnosis, in fact she said she thought that was what it was but didn't want to say. She has arranged one further test next week before we get into measuring me up for my unsexy stockings. She has been brilliant!
I am still off work as most days any form of movement is sore and walking for more than 20 minutes leaves me exhausted. It is not the wound, it is the swelling in my leg, and the constant pain and ache. I need to take pain killers to be able to sleep, and often just as a matter of course to get through the day. Sitting with my leg elevated higher than my hip is the only time it isn't too sore and it is driving me nuts! I am now keeping a diary to see when it is less sore and less swollen and when it is worse to see if there is a pattern.
This has triggered my urge to get back on track with my project life album, to document the origin of this new phase in my life and how I deal with it. Hopefully this will also trigger my love of scrapbooking and get me back on track a bit. I need the relaxation that I get from playing with paper and I need to get the memories documented.
