Listen carefully because I will say this only once!

I have too much stuff!  Not just scrapbooking stuff but also knitting stuff and sewing stuff and just stuff that I am not using but don't want to throw out.  It is absolutely ridiculous because I have filled the house and have no where to out anything else.

OK, so I am not on the level that see on the television shows about hoarders.  The house can still look tidy, though it doesn't always.  I can still find a home for everything, but only just.  The whole thing is compacted by trying to but birthday and Christmas presents while I have money and storing the stuff my daughter has bought for Christmas and birthdays.  It is very inconvenient having both her children's birthdays in December.

The end is in site though.  My stepson is returning to South Africa next week and I am moving my computer and scrapbooking stuff downstairs into what has been his bedroom.  The main reason for this is my lack of mobility, the stairs seem to get longer every day.  But many years ago, that was my craft room and I had a lot less of everything than I do now.  The fact that I will have a bit more room to manoeuvre will be really helpful but I will have to resist the urge to fill all the space I have now, back up!

I have a meeting later today which will confirm the end of my teaching career due to ill health.  I thought I had got over the worst but this week has been busy with the school prom and leaver's assembly.  Knowing this will be my last time at these events has brought back all that I am going to lose.  I am grieving for my lost career and my sense of purpose.  Being a teacher was part of who I am, and now I am not, so what am I?  I need to get some sort of routine and a sense of purpose.  I have toyed with the idea of some kind of work from home, so it is vital that I have a little bit of space to grow, which means a cull, a clear out, a downsizing.  It doesn't really matter what i call it but I have to get rid of some stuff to make a space for me to move, to breathe and to work out what I am going to be next.

In some ways it is really daunting and in others almost invigorating.  Now I am a nothing, a blank canvas and I can be whatever I choose.  I just have to choose wisely and carefully and not rush into something that is unworkable or unsustainable, given my health, or lack of it.  I will need to relearn all of the words to the song 'Que sera, sera; what will be will be' which was one of the songs I got on an album for my 10th birthday.  Doris Day was a wise woman.  I shall try to keep you updated with the move and the cull.  First things first is the way.  Wish me luck!