Hurry up and wait

I consider myself to be a fairly conscientious person and I hate to agree to do something then find I can't do it for whatever reason, I absolutely hate letting people down.  On the other hand I get very frustrated when someone tells me they are going to do something then don't.  I have also met many teachers who profess to have a bit of difficulty with things they have no control over and I would be the first to admit I am like that so my current health situation is driving me nuts.

 I have seen countless GPs, an occupational health nurse, a practice nurse and a lymphoedema nurse.  Today was a new one, an occupational health doctor.  Thankfully he was really nice and very sympathetic to my current health problems.  My own GP is still of the firm belief that I will improve, probably not to what I once was, but certainly significantly better than I am now.  The trouble is none can tell me when or how much better I will be.  I have to simply accept this fact but it is frustrating.  On a slightly more positive note - today the process to decide if I can continue to teach or whether I am unlikely to ever be fit to teach again was started.  I say positive but only because I will have some idea of what my future holds, not because I no longer wish to work or because I dislike my job.  When retirement was first put forward I was devastated and it has taken many weeks for me to begin to look on the prospect differently.  Unfortunately I have little idea of how the process works from here on in, apart from the fact that it involves lots of paper detailing what I can and cannot do.  I had contacted my union representative for advice who pointed me in the direction of someone who would be able to help.  That person has so far not done what they have promised so I am having to chase them up.  I feel like my head is going to burst at times.

OK rant over for today.  I finished the Ian Rankin book Saints of the Shadow Bible I was reading and it was a delight to have John Rebus back as a policeman and causing chaos with his blatant disregard for most of the rules.  I did enjoy it and it kept me guessing to the end of the book, as a good who dunnit should.  I did feel that it was not quite as good as some of the earlier Rebus books but it was very enjoyable.  So that is 1 book from my hopeful 50 and 1 of my Scottish books.  I am currently reading Truth Lies Bleeding by Tony Black which is considerably darker than the Rebus book with some very unpleasant characters.  It was recommended by someone else taking part in the Scottish Book Challenge so I will see how I find it.