I am in a funny sort of limbo at the moment. I finally had to stop work
and stay home as the pain became so severe it was unbearable.
Apparently I have fybromyalgia as well as my lymphoedema, ain't life
grand!
I find that my days sort of pass by and I don't always notice. Apart from taking regular pain relief my days don't really have a structure to them just now but I need to change that and become more focused. My employer's occupational health service have informed me that there is a chance I won't actually be able to return to work and, if I am totally honest, I sort of knew that but hearing it said out loud by someone else is very different. I kind of feel that my job is such a big part of who I am and I have put so much of myself into my job that I feel sort adrift just now.
Whatever is decided about my job, I certainly won't be going back in a hurry. At the moment I cam make myself a cup of tea if the kettle isn't too full, I can cook a meal but not dish it up, I can go shopping but after 30/40 minutes I am too sore and need to come home and I can't carry what I have bought. It's just crap! I can barely walk 2 steps without the pain in my feet becoming unbearable regardless of what I wear on my feet. These things I cannot change but adapting to the everyday reality of what I am unable to do is hard.
I need to just suck it up though because it could be far worse. I am still able to function, albeit in a limited way, so I am much luckier than many others. I need to give myself a very gentle shake and begin to develop a structure and purpose to my days, without trying to do too much at a time. Going at things with my former gusto leaves in agony and barely able to function for the next 2 days so I need to learn to pace myself at a gentler rhythm. I know this will take time but that I have plenty of.
Hopefully I will be back soon with a plan or even a timetable :-) Wish me luck!
I find that my days sort of pass by and I don't always notice. Apart from taking regular pain relief my days don't really have a structure to them just now but I need to change that and become more focused. My employer's occupational health service have informed me that there is a chance I won't actually be able to return to work and, if I am totally honest, I sort of knew that but hearing it said out loud by someone else is very different. I kind of feel that my job is such a big part of who I am and I have put so much of myself into my job that I feel sort adrift just now.
Whatever is decided about my job, I certainly won't be going back in a hurry. At the moment I cam make myself a cup of tea if the kettle isn't too full, I can cook a meal but not dish it up, I can go shopping but after 30/40 minutes I am too sore and need to come home and I can't carry what I have bought. It's just crap! I can barely walk 2 steps without the pain in my feet becoming unbearable regardless of what I wear on my feet. These things I cannot change but adapting to the everyday reality of what I am unable to do is hard.
I need to just suck it up though because it could be far worse. I am still able to function, albeit in a limited way, so I am much luckier than many others. I need to give myself a very gentle shake and begin to develop a structure and purpose to my days, without trying to do too much at a time. Going at things with my former gusto leaves in agony and barely able to function for the next 2 days so I need to learn to pace myself at a gentler rhythm. I know this will take time but that I have plenty of.
Hopefully I will be back soon with a plan or even a timetable :-) Wish me luck!
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